An Anniversary and a Desire

So much can change in a year.

A few days ago, my mom and I were reminiscing about our drive across the country and my early days here in Indiana. It hit me - I've been here a year. So much has changed - I have changed - but God is, if anything, only more constant as I get to know Him better. He has proven to be faithful so many times and in so many ways. If I could tell you half the blessings He has given me this past year, I would run out of room and still have more to tell.

Now, He is doing something new in my life.

About a year and a half ago, I wrote a post entitled Desires of the Heart. Among the Bible verses most frequently misquoted, Psalm 37:4 is often misunderstood.

Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

He will give you the desires of your heart. It doesn't necessarily mean that He will always give you exactly what your heart desires. In fact, more often than not, it means that when you delight yourself in Him the desires of your heart will be what He wants. He will change your desires to match His purpose if you are willing to let Him.

Those who have known me for the longest can testify that nearly all my life I have wanted to join the military. As a child, I was convinced that there were still units of old fashioned cavalry officers, just like in my history books and old west novels. I finally figured out that most of them have gone away (except for Mounties - if only I lived in Canada!), and decided at age 12 I would join the Marines. For most of my teenage years, I put this dream above any thought to pursue God's will for my life. I knew what I wanted, and I was going to do it whether or not He blessed that desire. He finally got a hold of my heart around 17, and I gave up the dream in submission to whatever He wanted me to do. At 19, however, my heart broken after a serious relationship ended suddenly, I again considered the military - this time mostly because I did not want to be responsible for my actions. Again, that desire was put in submission to God's will, and I followed His leading, ending up clear across the country. Now, however, after a year in a new place and a lot of personal growth and change, it's finally right. I am joining the Army National Guard, and for the first time, I am doing so out of a desire to follow God's will for my life. This time, my motives are right, and He has led me through each step so far.

Swearing-in Ceremony

The desire has been there since I was a child, but each time that He showed me He had something else planned for me, He changed even the desires of my heart. The dream has been put on hold for long enough, and His desire and my desire are the same. I am confident that I am following His will for me, and that He will continue to lead, guide, and bless me through this.

A year ago, I didn't think that the Lord was going to lead me down this path. I thought the desire to serve and defend my country was one that would not be fulfilled, and I was willing to allow Him to change it. Today, however, with my desires and His going in the same direction, I am happy to say that I love where He is leading me, and can't wait to see what He's going to do with this.

Hooah!